by Annette Young
Do you ever ask the question, ‘am I in an emotionally abusive relationship?’ Many women do but most find it hard to face up to the truth. Let’s be honest, if you have to ask the question, the chances are that you are not in a healthy relationship. Whether it is a violent relationship or an emotionally abusive one, the question is not whether you should leave, but when.
The hardest part of being in a destructive relationship is facing up to the reality. You will face a myriad of inner angst, there will be questions, ‘why me?’ There will be anger, feelings of betrayal, regret, hurt, rejection all rolled into one.
It’s hard to accept that the man in your life could do this to you. You may struggle with that reality for a long time, you may be uncertain if it is abuse. Physical violence leaves no doubts, it is wrong, it’s cruel and it is dangerous. Emotional abuse by its very nature makes you question, it’s not tangible, it’s a feeling. Each day is akin to walking on a road flanked with uncertainty and fear at what might come at you from out of the shadows. No-one should have to live in fear or reproach.
There’s another question you should ask yourself, ‘are you happy?’ The chances are that you are not. An abusive relationship is a black hole of doubts, fear and mistrust. You are not paranoid, if you sense it, think it and feel it, it’s very real. But you are not alone in this, there are millions of others who are going through it now or who have managed to escape and to rebuild their lives.
The final questions you should ask yourself is, ‘when and how should I leave?’ Start considering your options for escape today. Abuse does not get better, it merely gets worse.
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