by Annette Young
You may think that domestic abuse is the horrendous act of physical violence but domestic abuse is so much more than that. There are varying degrees and types of abuse including the act of emotional manipulation. The scars of abuse can take a long time to heal.
Domestic abuse varies from household to household, control is always at the root of the problem. Sometimes it is the mere threat of violence that strips the woman’s power, at other times it is the slow degrading comments, the condescending tone or the withdrawal of love, it leaves no physical scars but eradicates the woman’s sense of identity, confidence and well-being all the same.
It’s a secret crime and one that many people do not understand. Often victims do not wish to come forward, it’s hard to admit that their partner or husband can inflict such inner pain and yet, deep down, they often feel that they are the ones to blame. Victims of abuse change, they live under a shadow, afraid to do or say the wrong thing. They lose their confidence and second-guess every decision, fearful of the resulting comments or violence that occurs if they get it wrong. Feelings of inadequacy and fear are often all that remains.
No-one knows what goes on behind closed doors. Abusers are often careful, they hide behind a mask and can be charming, attractive and kind….to others. In the privacy of their own homes, they can change. The mask drops, they revel in their power.
Look around you. You may have friends, family or neighbours who are suffering right now. Awareness is important, domestic abuse is more common that you might think.
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