Fear of being alone

Fighting Fear and Going It Alone


by Annette Young

When you break away from an abusive relationship, it’s easy to let fear overwhelm you. You may start to second guess every little aspect of life,  even those everyday tasks which are so familiar. You may feel less than whole and as if carrying a huge burden, that of being totally alone and the necessity of making every single decision, facing the consequences if you get it wrong.

Fear can be overwhelming but, it’s natural to feel this way. Accept your feelings but don’t succumb to them. In time, you’ll realise that starting over was a good thing to do.  

But right now, are you….

  • Worried that you cannot cope?
  • Worried that you may be alone forever?
  • Worried that you may date the wrong person again?

It’s important to understand where these feelings are coming from. If you have been in a manipulative relationship, your self-esteem may have been seriously impacted. If your partner corrected or mocked  you for every little move, no wonder you feel less than self-assured. If your control was taken away within your relationship, it’s no wonder you feel afraid now. You may second-guess yourself for some time but that’s alright, it’s all part of the living on your own and the recovery process.

Feeling this way may be uncomfortable and restrictive right now but, it’s temporary. There are far more benefits to starting over than there are the negative aspects of leaving. Just understand why you feel the way you do and that it is to be expected. Going it alone may seem terrifying but staying in an abusive relationship is so much worse, it’s threatening and debilitating. 

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