by Annette Young
It’s an age-old problem. If you have ever experienced a heart-breaking relationship, let alone a toxic one, it’s likely that you will have deeply-rooted trust issues going forward. It’s easy to worry about this, but don’t. It’s natural and is just a form of self-protection. It can take time for trust in others to start to develop.
The best starting point has to be with yourself. How can you learn to trust others if you don’t wholly trust yourself? That might sound a bit odd but it’s true. Often, when bad relationships have been experienced, there’s a sense of disbelief, ‘how could I not have seen through this person?’
Ill-treatment from within a relationship is very difficult to overcome. Deep down you might know you don’t deserve it, and yet, it’s happening to you. It’s not even about physical violence, it could be anything – derogatory remarks, bullying, sarcasm and threats. Anything that makes you feel less than good about yourself is unhealthy and unwarranted. Toxic relationships come in all different guises, you may have dated more than one individual who treated you badly but it’s likely that the behaviours were not the same. Signs that manifest mid-way through were probably not visible at the start of the relationship so, how could you have known?
Learning to trust your judgement is important. Learning to be brave in your own emotional soul is difficult, but, think of it as a stepping stone towards recovery. There’s no need to rush. Little by little, you start to grow and you go at the pace that is right for you.
Trust is not guaranteed in life. People can and do let you down. It doesn’t matter who you are, there are malicious, callous and unreliable people out there. Sadly, this is the way of the world these days. Don’t give your heart and trust too easily, instead, take your time to see if your next potential partner truly deserves you. Over time, trust will develop and you can relax into the relationship…it will happen naturally and that is the best way to make progress.
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