Red Flag of Relationships

Relationships – Watch Out for the Red Flag of Change

Relationships and red flag

by Annette Young

We all want to feel fulfilled and cherished in our relationships and when we meet someone new, it should be one of the most exciting times of life. There’s nothing like the dizzy sensation of romance, sexual chemistry and a new-found connection. You should feel wonderful, beautiful and so appreciated and valued, but what if you don’t?

Here’s an example of a potential red flag.

What if your new partner doesn’t gel with your long-standing friends? It’s an awkward but not unusual scenario. It’s true to say that we don’t all see people in the same way so, disharmony or discord is possible even if unwarranted, sometimes, it is a mixture of resentment between the people who profess to love you the most. Often, this naturally settles in time.

Initially, you may be so madly in love that you are tempted to spend all your time with this new love interest. It’s not a deliberate act of dropping your friends, but the new romantic liaison is intoxicating. However, if your new partner is nudging you to spend less time with your friends, compelling you to move away from them, to start believing that they are not as good a friend as you may think or that they  hold you back in life, this is a real danger sign.

Okay, it may not be spelled out in so many words, but there may be little signs of disapproval that gnaw away at your sub-conscious mind, you may not want to listen, but you should. But there are other red flags to consider too. Your partner doesn’t like how you look, how you dress or, where you live. In fact, there’s an underlying criticism about pretty much everything. There’s a sense of urgency for change, you are almost perfect…but that ‘not quite’ hangs in the air creating self-doubt. Some slight changes here and there and you’ll be a whole new person and deserving of that all-important happy ever after.

Hmmm. Sound familiar?

Watch out for red flags such as these. No relationship is perfect and it may be necessary to adapt some aspects of self – with both participating in these changes so to create the foundations of a strong relationship but, you should never feel belittled, be made to doubt yourself or, be dictated to drop friends or change key aspects of your life. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t settle for less than the best, find someone who really appreciates you for who you are. 

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