Self-Improvement – Lessons Learned

Life Coaching


by Annette Young

Self-improvement – when you are in the pits of despair, the last thing you might want to think about are self-improvement techniques. After all,  you have tried almost everything to make your partner happy and perhaps, nothing worked. But if you are emerging out the other side of an abusive relationship, you do need to think about getting yourself back on track, nurturing your mind, soul and body and there are things that you can do to start feeling better.

Your instinct may be telling you to blot everything out. You don’t want to think about your past because it hurts too much. But to  go forward, you do need to go back and dip into your memory cells considering what you may have learned from your experiences. If you could go back in time, reflect on the things that you might do differently and consider any warning signs that were visible.  If you missed them at the time, would you spot them if they happened now?

It’s good to reflect even if the memories are painful, telling yourself that you are out of the situation will give you some comfort but it takes time to heal. To help yourself move on from the past, think about two pieces of advice that you would give to someone else who might be in the same situation as you are in now. Do this from a dispassionate view point and not from an emotional stance.

Give yourself just ten minutes of reflection, writing  your thoughts down, pinning them up somewhere so that you are reminded of them each day.  As time passes, it will enable you to grow stronger and to become used to being your own person again. Trying out self-improvement techniques can work in a number of ways, it can make you feel clearer about the past, present and the future or, to realise that you did the best that you could do in a difficult situation or, to be clear at least about those warning signs.

It’s time to start taking care of yourself, keep your thoughts positive, look to the future and you will soon start to feel the difference, it just takes time.


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