by Annette Young
The signs of emotional abuse are sometimes so subtle that it can take time for the victim to even realise what is happening. Often there are feelings of despair, loneliness and helplessness but women try to hide the reality of their situation, embarrassed or ashamed of their plight. Many women take up the mantle of investigator determined to find out the cause of the problems, to communicate with their partner and to rescue the relationship.
This sadly can make the situation a whole lot worse.
If you are suffering from emotional abuse, you are likely to feel withdrawn and isolated. There’s a deep need to talk the problem through, you need to bring it all out into the open, but it’s hard to open up to others, after all, you have no evidence of abuse. It’s your word against his and, deep down, you really don’t want to betray him.
You will tell yourself it’s a bad patch, all couples go through it…right? Wrong.
Like physical violence, emotional abuse has its roots firmly embedded in the power game. You haven’t done anything wrong, you didn’t cause this to happen, you just chose an emotionally abusive man. You made a mistake by falling in love with someone unable to give you the love you deserve and you deserve so much more.
Those intense feelings of isolation may spread. In time, you may find yourself with less contact from friends and family. You will lose confidence and you may even doubt your own intelligence. It’s hard to stay positive if you are told that you are fat, ugly or worthless. You will feel unloved and unlikable.
Depression raises its head and you become immersed in a bleakness where fatigue rules your day. It will seem as if there is no escape. From the outside, people will notice you have changed, they will know instinctively something is wrong but others can’t help unless you tell them. Your need to communicate is sound, but it is likely to be more productive if you talk to a friend or family member, someone who can support you emotionally and help you to regain your confidence.
If you have experienced these feelings, sign up for our FREE newsletter or take time to read Emotional Abuse – Get Out of My Head and Out of My Bed!