by Annette Young
It’s hard to view life with any type of clarity when you are in the midst of an abusive relationship. Domestic abuse clouds judgement, understandably, it impacts every aspect of life and all too often, the victim makes excuses for the abuser.
“He doesn’t mean the things he says.”
“I know he loves me.”
“He’s promised to change.”
But here’s the reality of abusive relationships. Abusers are in control of their behaviours. They pick their victims and they often save up their abuse for those people whom they profess to love. Abusers won’t just pick on everyone who supposedly irritates them, instead, they paint a false picture to the world and act out their role in it and when they come home, they look for a victim and guess who then gets the brunt of their vile behaviour?
You may not want to believe it if you are caught in the restrictive confines of an abusive relationship but, abusers choose their moments to abuse. They are not fuelled by temper and lose control because of something that you may have said, far from it, they can switch back to normal mode in an instant – when it suits them.
Think carefully….just for a minute…..
Have you ever witness your partner stop the act of emotional or physical abuse when interrupted unexpectedly? Have you noticed the face of anger and control dissipate, the mask changing from violent abuser back into the face of reason and normality?
For domestic violence, the abuser often directs those physical blows to the areas of your body that won’t show bruises. There may be some physical marks on those exposed features but, your arms, legs, and torso may end up black and blue. So if you think that they are acting in a mindless rage because of something that you have said or done, STOP right now and listen. An abusive man knows exactly what he is doing, he chooses when to pick on you, he chooses when and where to hit you. You do not deserve to be a punching bag, or, to be the victim at the brunt of endless disparaging comments.
Don’t wait until it is too late to make a move.
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It’s filled with personal stories and content that will help you to understand your situation.
Note: We are aware that men become the victim of abuse too and do not condone such acts, however, the majority of abuse victims are women and this site reflects the current statistics. We urge any individual who is experiencing abuse to seek help.